His Eminence Teofan, Metropolitan of Moldova and Bucovina, Romania:

“Schemanun Siluana Vlad (1944-2021) was born in an ordinary family during World War Two. A lack of meaning, an inner emptiness, a dryness and drabness of the soul provoked in her a state of deep pain and excruciating suffering, but also of continuous seeking. By discovering Christ, she realized that He had been with her all along, He had accompanied her in her sorrows, He had waited for her, He had forgiven her, and, above all, He had loved her as only God can love.

Above measure and beyond measure, Mother Siluana dedicated her life to God, trying to love Him with a passionate, limitless yearning down to the last fibers of her heart; a heart that was wounded but was also healed through the grace of faith.

Mother Siluana’s direct and frank way of speaking, the remarkable spontaneity in her reactions, the capacity to grasp the essential even in matters considered minor by others – all these guided her life and her testimony. St. Silouan the Athonite offered her the image of true prayer, the icon of love for God and the neighbor, and the strength to rise from the hell of despair.”

Excerpts from within the Book

“I promised myself I won’t write to you because I suspect, I sense that you are overwhelmed by messages, but I can’t bear not to write to you. Forgive me!

God has always been close to me with His great love, His mercy, and His care…I have no words for this.

How can I thank Him for His presence close to me, even though I, a small, powerless being, have lived with sins, passions, and useless pride?

How can I set a new beginning for this new me who, by God’s mercy, is trying to come to light from somewhere inside me? And I don’t know how.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you do. I read the answers you give to others, and I feel that they are for me too, and sometimes I cry.

I wish you good health and all the best!

Thank you!
Carmen”

“My dear Carmen,

The new beginning is the acceptance of the “old man” just as he is. Looking at him with the “spiritual realism” that Fr. Rafail Noica talks about!

Take everything that hurts in you and show it to the Lord, trusting that He is the Doctor. Take everything that the ones around you reproach you with and choose carefully what is real in that message, and show it to the Lord, asking Him to heal you!

Then, accept every little thread of pain as a thread of gold that leads you to the Lord! Your pain told to the Lord and not thrown out on others will teach you pure prayer and boldness before the Lord!

And learn to listen to the Lord’s love deep within your soul! Stop accusing, stop judging, stop comparing yourself with others, accept yourself as you are, show yourself to the Lord, and listen to how He loves you! Every one of your heartbeats is a declaration of love from Him!

Courage!”

With love and great hope,

M. Siluana

“Mother Siluana,

Is it enough to be aware of the “evil” in me, unmask it, accept it, and bless God? Every time I sense an evil thought or I become aware of something evil in me, I need to call on God to help me, right? Admitting that I can achieve nothing without Him. And with faith and patience that everything will happen according to His will. And as soon as some “garbage” comes out, to call on God to cleanse and bandage my wound, right?”

M.

“Yes, my dear child, yes!

It's just that this unmasking and naming of the evil in us is not a trifle! It is courage and honesty! It is the goal of the whole Orthodox askesis! And giving up on the effort of becoming good by ourselves is humility! Calling on God and blessing are the essence of obeying God, which alone can bring about real change in us - and we don't achieve this, He does. And you should know that our life's purpose is not to be good, but to be with God in us so that His Life can become our life too! We don't even know what "good" means! We only have "tastes" - and they are ever-changing!

But by being with the Lord, we will always learn the lesson for our life: the Joy which will not be taken away from us! He will teach us everything. And what peace, dear child, what joy, to feel yourself loved the way you are! And to receive the strength to love others without "pretensions." This kind of love gives life and makes everything new!”

With much love and great hope,

M. Siluana